Why are girls still being slut-shamed?


Dear Rhonda and Dr. Cheri,

Why are teen boys still slut-shaming girls?

Why aren’t boys ever treated this way?

I was told recently to watch the TV show “13 Reasons Why,” so I did. People are saying it’s a realistic story about a girl who commits suicide, but I think it’s mostly about boys slut-shaming girls.

My high-school aged nephew said he doesn’t know how true it is, but he’s seen it everywhere on social media.

This is so wrong. I want to know what to do to help these girls.

Signed,
Gotta help

Dear Helpful,

Thank you for wanting to change our overly sexualized culture.

Boys don’t need to be equal in being slut-shamed. The change we need for our youth is to teach them to stop with sexual bantering, stop the porn, stop focusing on sexual appearance, stop the partying, and start setting boundaries like:

Abstinence from pre-marital sex. If you think it’s harmless, think again and look at the statistics on STDs, rape, abuse, bullying, suicide, and depression, anxiety, as well as alcohol and drug addiction. It’s possible to turn the tide and restore respect for each other’s innocence, goodness and modesty by starting a campaign of abstinence.

Abstinence from gossip, even if it’s true. Slut-shaming is gossip and most often it’s not true.

Abstinence from using social media to send sexual jokes, pictures, and labels.

Abstinence from judging others. It’s hypocritical – you’re not perfect either – and only God knows a person’s story and heart.

Abstinence from lies, especially the one where our youth is mature enough to handle sex.

Adults need to teach healthy relationships and respect for intimacy. Respect means reverence, admiration, value and esteem.

Adults must lead by example. Show a commitment to change our culture of sex as a game for entertainment and amusement.

Adults need to teach our youth to stop putting down others and instead teach how to lift their classmates up!

Men need to show respect to women and be a good example for boys.

Sex should not be used to control or manipulate others. Many boys use these tactics on girls and then shame them for complying. Teens shouldn’t use sexual conquests as trophies to develop confidence or self-worth.

Guys are still being lauded for their sexual conquests and that’s wrong.

Overall, boys and girls need to be taught how to be ladies and gentlemen. Adults too!

Signed,
Rhonda and Dr. Cheri

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